A growing plague among young people is the fear of rejection. I speak both from my own personal experience and also from observation. I have seen so many fail to reach their full potential because they were crippled by fear. What causes such fear? I believe it is the result of societal lies and images of what is acceptable and beautiful that gives us a wrong view of ourselves.
Speaking from personal experience, I know the hardships of people rejecting you for who you are and the challenge of trying to fit the “mold” that society presents as normal. As a young person I was often rejected by people because of my strong faith and beliefs. I was even benched on an athletic team because the coach discovered I was one of those “Hagin-ites” and “tongue-talkers,” which, as a young and impressionable person, is very disheartening. I often lost friends because they wanted me to let loose on my standards and compromise a little here and there, and I wouldn’t. Guys didn’t want to date me because I talked too much (I am a big talker as any of you who know me well can attest, but I know my future husband will love that about me.) and my strong faith intimidated them because I was too mature in that area. This lead to some years of feeling slightly isolated, actually very isolated. I began to think something was wrong with me and just could never understand why people didn’t want me in their life, simply because I loved God and was passionate about His love and goodness. As a result I developed insecurity and fear of talking to people, when before nothing could stop me because I knew I was going to travel the world and preach the Gospel. Years passed and I began to tone down my Christianity and faith. Kept quiet about it and sadly, looking back, lost the opportunity to truly be a light to some people who were in dire need of truth. I allowed the fear of rejection to cripple me from being the person I was and the person God called me to be. I wouldn’t talk much, was known for being so sweet and quiet and accepting, and had lots of “friends” but now I couldn’t stand the person I had become. I began crying out to God and He began speaking to me and reminding me of the life I was born for, I remember so vividly hearing His voice one night, “I didn’t call you to be like them, I called you to make them like you…. SPOTLESS in my sight. You were created for more than this, Jessica.” That was a wakeup call to me and I got my fire back and began moving back to the boldness and faith that I had once had, which cost me those “friends” but looking back I see following God was worth the price to be able to reach the people He’s called me to reach. It took a long time, but I was able to trust God, listen to His voice and get back to being myself, the uniquely special person He created me to be.
And no, everything hasn’t been perfect since then, and I’ve had to deal with people coming in and out of my life because they don’t understand me or because I’m a stickler for preaching the UNcompromised Word, but I am becoming more and more confident in the person He created me to be and not allowing the fear of rejection to rule in my life. Even now that fear will try to creep in through circumstances, but that is when I remind myself of who I am in Christ and the call that is on my life and that words have been spoken over my life and I will have to go alone for a while, but in the end it will all be worth it! The path of following God and not compromising is usually one that not many walk on, and there will be times where you feel like you are the only one, but I’d rather walk on the right path alone than to follow the crowd on the path of mediocrity.
Now, why am I sharing all this? Is it to talk about myself? Most certainly not, but I needed to share some experience to build on and what God has been speaking to me about, through my own life on this topic. I have really been seeing this fear prevalent in young people lately, just go to the mall and you will see. At the mall and other public places I see young people who all dress and act alike and sometimes you’ll hear the group mock one girl or guy for expressing an idea that they think is stupid because it isn’t their social norm. It saddens me the pressure of perfection that is placed on young people; we’ve lost the freedom of individuality and uniqueness. And I know this breaks God’s heart, because He put such thought and care into creating each one of us unique and special, He didn’t create us to be clones! It seems, though, that this fear of rejection causes people to not truly be who they were called to be and to simply follow the crowd. I know it is a ploy of the enemy to keep us down and to cripple us from being all that God has destined us for.
I am reminded of the story of Esther. Esther was a Jew living in Persia and hid her true identity to find favor with the king. So, she hid the fact that she was a Jew and even changed her name from Hadassah to a Persian name, Esther, and ended up winning the king’s favor, winning his heart, and was crowned his queen, sort of a fairytale if I may say. But the story tells much more, it is truly a story of destiny, as God didn’t call Esther to simply live the rest of her life enjoying the comforts of the palace while her people were slaughtered. Esther had to face the fear of rejection, but this rejection had a much great price than losing a friendship or acquaintance. If the king rejected her, she could be executed. Now, that is what I call fear of rejection, but Esther faced that fear and overcame it. She marched right into the throne room uninvited and waited to see if he would reject her or accept her. As many know, he raised his scepter and allowed her to approach, but the story doesn’t end there. She had to reveal her true personality to him, the fact that she was a Jew, not Persian, and again face the fear of rejection wondering if he would banish her or even execute her with her people. She eventually told him the truth and because she overcame the fear of rejection and looked to the fact that God had a destiny and divine purpose and plan for her life she was able to save her people from Haman’s noose.
If Queen Esther could overcome the fear of rejection, that came with the threat of death, and go on to fulfill the destiny God had laid out for her life, I believe we can too. We just have to trust God and know that he made us and our personalities uniquely different for a reason, even though we may not fully see “why” at this stage in our life. I know that He has a great and divine plan for each of us and when we live free from the fear of rejection we are able to walk fully in ALL that God has for us! In this freedom you will be able to go anywhere in life that God has promised you!
Let His voice reign supreme in your life and let the voice and criticism of others just roll off you back, like water off a duck’s back!
You were born for glory!
A Voice of Boldness,
JRT
